Inner Beauty

God always knows what we need, it is our job to search with open eyes and a loving heart...

It is so easy to get caught up in exterior and outward goals; appearance, status, career, money. It's what is instilled in us by society. Everywhere you look you see a billboard or an advertisement or some form of media expressing the importance of having "stuff" and looking a certain way. Well guess what? All of that couldn't be further from the truth. If we really needed it, they wouldn't work so hard to shove it in our faces and selling their product would be simple. God on the other hand, is patient and loving, God is all knowing, God is love and truth. God has given me so many beautiful things and each day continues to help build what's most important- my inner self. He continues to give me the strength and grace I need in order to reach my inward goals. 

Don't become enslaved by what others think you should be. Be true to yourself always. Be loving and kind and honest, speak with love and with truth, nothing else matters. TRUE natural beauty comes from within. The more beautiful we are on the inside the easier that it will be for love and joy to gleam out of every single one of our pours. If we allow God to work his joyous mysteries within us, he will radiate through us. We are ALL beautiful, because we are ALL children of God. Love yourself- all of it, the beautiful and wonderful and the imperfections, because they are beautiful too. God makes no mistakes, you are the way you are because that is how He created you, you are His skin and his flesh, you are magnificent. Stand strait, with your head held high and your body forward, smile continuously at all the true beauty we are blessed to be surrounded with. Learn to love yourself for who you are, open up your heart to God (whoever or whatever that may be for you) and let Him shine through your eyes and your smile and don't EVER let anyone tell you you are not good enough or worthy of love. God loves you and I love you, love yourself too!

Thank you God.

I'm in bed, crying out to God, literally yelling out his name, thanking Him for all of the things and people he has put in my life. I'm feeling a gamut of emotions, it's a roller coaster, one moment I'm up and on top of the world and the next moment I'm crashing back down... all of this in the matter of seconds.  What a frightful yet beautiful feeling; the feeling of God's presence working within me, within all of the beautiful people I see and interact with on a daily basis. My life has been nothing short of a battle, but it has been a battle worth fighting for.  I am capable of so much love and I want to spread it with the world but sometimes I forget that, sometimes I have a hard time believing it, believing in myself.  I look in the mirror and I don't like the person I see, I'd rather go blind than live another day being me.  So many people have faith in me, so many people continue to tell me I am the light and that God is calling me to do his work and usually I believe it, I believe in myself but it is especially during these difficult days that I need their faith the most.  It is all of these beautiful people in my lives that have given me the power to be who I am, all of these beautiful people who continue to light the flame that I know I am capable of being... that I am.  Thank you God, thank you God, THANK YOU GOD for every single person in my life, every single one of them, from my family and best friend Amanda, to the little girl running around the restaurant expressing her excitement for the little things in life. Thank you God for giving me the opportunity to be able to talk to them regularly, to be able to be there for them when they need me and for giving them the love to be able to be there for me when I need them.  Thank you God for my family, because as broken as it may feel like we are, I know we are not, I know we are capable of growth because our love for one another is raw and real and true.  Thank you God for my friends Amanda and Jesse, may you give them what they need always because they do nothing but give to others.  Thank you God for Father Paul and Deacon Cecily, because of them I have you and I am not afraid to express my love for you.  Thank you God for old friends who had so much to do in shaping me, may you give them what they need to live loving and fulfilling lives.  Thank you God for all of the new and beautiful people you keep placing on my path, may our relationships continue to grow and prosper and may you provide them with the love and people they need.  Thank you God for my life, for each new day, for the Sun and the Moon and this beautiful Earth I walk upon each and every day.  Thank you God for all the roadblocks you have placed on my journey because if it were not for them, I would not know what gratitude is and I would not be as strong as I am now.  Thank you God for believing in me, for having faith in me, for being so graceful and merciful towards me.  Thank you God for being there on the days I need you the most and on the days I take you for granted.  Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you God, words will never be able to express my love and gratitude towards you God but you are so great that you understand my love for you and that's why you continue to work your beautiful ways in and all around me. I love you God.

What is Faith?

Yesterday my sister asked me what faith was to me.  I guess as a result of giving her a generic answer, she replied with, "I'm stuck at [the idea] that faith isn't necessary... it is wasted energy." :o My jaw couldn't help but drop after reading those words... my baby sister.. doesn't have faith... but not only that, she thinks it's "wasted energy."

My family is all in Mexico while I am here in Delaware and the distance tends to get very difficult, especially during times of trouble.  My family has been going through a lot the last couple years, particularly mine, my sisters, and my moms relationship with my father.  The last time I visited made it evident that things were not getting any better.

It's difficult for me, when I'm thousands of miles away. I can't imagine how difficult it must be on my mom and my sister... and my father! When they are dealing and interacting with one another on a daily basis.  I couldn't respond to her right away, I was flabbergasted, disappointed, angry, and I simply didn't know what to say.  After reflecting on her words, meditating on our lives as a family, and praying to God, I was able to come to the following.  So dear sister, you ask me what is faith and I answer with the following:

What is faith?  What is hope?

It is important to remember that faith and hope are different than wishful thinking.  To wish is to long or desire something or someone, to have faith is to have confidence and trust in something or someone, and to have hope is to believe that what we want can be had.  Don’t get the three confused.  Faith and hope are important parts of life and are often times intertwined, we have hope in our faith.  But unfortunately through time, wishing has also become interrelated with the two but we must learn to distinguish.

I don’t want you to ever feel like faith is not necessary because it is. Wishing that things would change is not necessary, that is wasteful energy not, having faith in something or someone we believe in and knowing that what we want can be had.

If you spend time wishing dad will change then you are right, you are wasting time.  Wishing is simply thinking about the things, people, situations in our lives that we do not currently have.  When you wish that dad will change his ways, you are simply stating that you want him to be different.

How faith is different is that in addition to confidence it also requires action.  Faith = belief + confidence + action.  Faith is believing in something, finding the confidence and courage, and actually doing something about it.  This can be seen in many ways.  For example, I have faith in God.  I do not wish to God or on God rather I have faith that God exists in my life.  Because of this faith in God I am able to find the confidence and courage that I need in order to be a better person (action).  Because of my faith, I act like a child of God by following God’s words the best that I can.  In return, I am able to see God everywhere and every day in my life.  I have faith that God exists, I act as if God exists (because to me God does), and in return God shows me love through many things (work, friends, family, community, the fact that the sun rises and settles every day, the flowers that bloom after winter, the birds chirping outside my window every morning,  being able to forgive those whom have hurt me, asking God and those for forgiveness when I have hurt them, love, content, FULFILLMENT… all of these are signs from God that God is with me).

When we wish for things we usually do just that, wish.  We don’t go out and get them.  “I wish I had a nicer car,” “I wish I was thin,” “I wish he liked me back,” “I wish I was smarter,” “I wish I had more money,” “I wish my dad would change.” All you are doing in these situations is saying that you want things to be different, you are not actually doing anything to change them.  When you have faith it turns into “I have faith that God will not let me go hungry and provide me with the things I need to live,” “I have faith that my father can change,” “I have faith that I don’t need to look like anyone else in order to love myself,” “I have faith that I can pass school,” and so on.  And once you begin to have faith in God and yourself, God will give you the confidence and courage you need in order to actually go out and change the things about your life you wish were different.  Once you find courage and confidence through God you can actually go out and make a difference… and this is key.  ACTION… acting… doing something to change the situation.

So yes, faith DOES start with you.  And remember, you can only have faith for yourself, you cannot have faith for others. You can only show them what having faith has done for your life and have faith that that alone will help them want to change theirs.

Have faith in my dad, have confidence in yourself, and follow up with that. If you want dad to change, YOU have to change first.  What can YOU do differently? How can YOU change?  You could begin by asking God for patience with dad, for the confidence and courage you need in order to start loving yourself and begin living a life that you truly want to live.

I end with this: Who do you want to be?  Who do you need to be in order to live a life you love?  Once you love yourself and the life you have created for yourself, love will gleam out of every pore in your body and people will only be able to see love, people will be able to see God.   And when one is surrounded by love, how could they themselves not love in return?  God is truth and truth is love.  Be true to yourself, love yourself, and live a life with grace and dignity, a life you are proud of living.

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Hebrews 11 (NLT)

Great Examples of Faith

"11 Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. ² Through their faith, the people in days of old earned a good reputation.

³ By faith we understand that the entire universe was formed at God’s command, that what we now see did not come from anything that can be seen.

³² How much more do I need to say? It would take too long to recount the stories of the faith of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel, and all the prophets. ³³ By faith these people overthrew kingdoms, ruled with justice, and received what God had promised them. They shut the mouths of lions,³⁴ quenched the flames of fire, and escaped death by the edge of the sword. Their weakness was turned to strength. They became strong in battle and put whole armies to flight. ³⁵ Women received their loved ones back again from death.

³⁹ All these people earned a good reputation because of their faith, yet none of them received all that God had promised. ⁴⁰ For God had something better in mind for us, so that they would not reach perfection without us."